


Like My Mirror Years Ago

by InTheShadows



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, Artist Steve Rogers, Background Relationships, Don't copy to another site, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Minor pining, Multi, Slice of Life, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, background stucky, hidden love, mentions of: BAMF Peggy & BAMF Ana Jarvis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 13:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: The day Tony finds one of Captain America's old sketchbooks is one of the most important days to him. Not only is this a treasure from his hero, it is something more and something for just himself. It might take him years to understand what that more is, but even at five he knows it is something special.A look through the years of Tony's life as seen through the lens of that sketchbook.





	Like My Mirror Years Ago

**Author's Note:**

> This... was supposed to be 2k max... Writer fail. (Also Howard wasn't supposed to be in here at all, but I'm salty. Saltier then I realized actually. Sorry, but not really.)

Tony is five the first time he sees it. Although finds it would be a more accurate statement. It takes him a while to understand the full importance of it - years in fact - but that doesn’t mean it isn't important the very first time he lays eyes on it. 

The item in question? Steve Roger’s sketchbook. 

It had been a quiet afternoon and Tony was bored. Both Jarvis and Ana were busy working. His Mama was out of the house organizing her latest charity gathering. And Howard? Well Howard had tossed Tony out of the lab an hour ago. Told him that if he couldn't be useful then to get out of his sight. So Tony had taken to exploring instead. 

He wandered aimlessly from room to room trying to find something that interested him. It’s not as if he didn’t have enough toys - useful toys, toys to teach him to build and be productive, not anything for  _ babies _ because he is a Stark and Starks aren’t cry babies or little sissies. But he doesn’t feel like sitting still long enough to play with them. There is a nervous sort of energy running through his body, the kind that makes him fidget all over. It’s the reason he was banished from the lab in the first place. 

Eventually he ends up in the Memorabilia Room. Or the Cap Room as Tony calls it. Either way the purpose of the room is clear enough - it’s where Howard stores his Captain America collection. He has everything: from posters to action figures to comics. Everything that was ever made Howard bought and put into this room. It looks like an American flag exploded inside. 

But Tony’s favorite part was where Captain America’s original belongings were stored. It wasn’t much because he knows that Captain America was poor growing up, so most of it was from his time in the Army. His uniforms - not the one he went down in obviously, but others - his motorbike - again the one that survived and didn’t get blown up by fighting HYDRA - a few odds and ends. Some of the most interesting pieces were pictures that he had drawn, framed and hung up on the wall. 

Tony loves those drawings - could stare at them for hours sometimes. There is just something about them. There’s no one particular theme - they range from a New York skyline to the German front to his Aunt Peggy. With the war going on supplies had been limited, but obviously Captain America worked with what he could get. The skill is obvious, the emotions even more so. It’s enough to take Tony’s breath away. 

But that afternoon he sees something he’s never seen before - a cardboard box pushed into the back corner so that it is almost hidden. Tony frowns. Why would it be hidden? Everything else is displayed proudly so what is so different about this box? Without a moment's hesitation he gets on his knees and opens it. He sneezes from the dust it stirs up which only serves to make him more curious. Visions of secret weapons or top secret adventures dance through his head. 

When he looks inside he is almost disappointed to see it filled with notebooks instead. Nothing like he was imagining. Still it is something to do so he takes the top one out to flip through it. Then he understands just why these are hidden the way they are. Aunt Peggy had told him one time that before the war Steve had gone to college for art. It’s not anything Howard would have mentioned because art is even less than the softer sciences and therefore a waste of time. Obviously that couldn’t be completely true if Captain America did it, but it’s something best not mentioned. 

What he has in his hands is nothing short of Captain America’s own sketchbook. He bets that the entire box is filled with his sketchbooks, likely from before the war. His excitement returns full blast as he considers it. Here are more pictures that he loves to look at. An entire book filled to the brim of them. 

It feels like he just found the greatest treasure ever. Howard is always talking about Captain America when he isn’t talking about his inventions. That’s basically the only thing he’ll talk to Tony about. And Aunt Peggy tells  _ the best _ stories. Captain America has been a part of Tony’s childhood from his first memory. 

At first the drawings are simple enough - a 1930’s and 40’s New York. People and places and things that existed a century ago. A lifetime ago to his young mind. But they come to life on the pages before him. There is something fragile about the scenes even as they seem mostly neutral or vaguely hopeful. Obviously a draw what you see book. History has never seemed to alive so him before. Not even in the stories. But here and now, in these drawings a New York Tony will never experience for himself comes alive. 

He reaches the end of the book and carefully takes another one out of the box. Opening it he is immediately faced with a portrait of Bucky Barnes smiling back at him. Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. The sniper for the Howling Commandos. The only one besides the Captain himself who died during the war. He doesn’t know much outside of the badly written comic books and mentions from Aunt Peggy. Howard never had much of anything good to say about him. 

That’s okay though because he never had much of anything good to say about Tony when the press isn’t around. It is enough for Tony to feel a certain kinship with him. Especially when Aunt Peggy jokes about cheeky burnetts. Plus he was  _ Captain America’s _ best friend. How could he not be curious about him? How could he not envy him? Just a little bit. 

So Tony knows Bucky Barnes when he sees him. Even as young as he is in the drawings - a just a kid still, grinning impishly at the viewer. He has the same eyes as in the news reels. The same smile. He’s only proven right as he flips through the pages. The same boy, growing through the years, again and again and  _ again _ . Obviously he is practicing drawing the human body because sometimes there is just a hand or a mouth or a smile, but it all belongs to the same person. A life study of Bucky Barnes through the years. An even more detailed practice of draw what you see. 

It is clear how important Bucky is to Captain America. A picture is worth a thousand words after all and here is an entire sketchbook filled. From childhood to Army. It is a treasure trove worth that has Tony’s cheeks sore from smiling so widely. 

He immediately knows that he is going to hide this treasure from everyone. From Ana and Jarvis. From Mama and Aunt Peggy.  _ Especially _ from Howard. This is his and his alone. No one else can have it. Besides who is going to miss it? It has clearly been forgotten along with the rest of the sketchbooks. No one will ever know if one goes missing as long as he is careful. And he intends to be  _ very _ careful. He’s never had something of his very own before. Certainly nothing so precious. 

Laying it gently down beside him he returns his attention back to the box. He looks through a few more, but none of them spark the same excitement in him as the Bucky book. Still they are Captain America’s drawings and therefore something to look at and treasure. He doesn’t get through all of them, wanting to save some for another day. He puts them away, aware that supper will be soon and he will be expected. He can - and will - come back again to finish. It isn’t as if he isn’t left alone a lot. He can afford to wait even if he doesn’t necessarily want to. But some things are meant to be savored and these are definitely meant to be that. 

Gently he cradles the book to his chest as he runs through the halls to his room. Locking the door behind him he removes a section of books from his shelf and opens the secret compartment there. The one that no one knows about. He knows that Jarvis found the other one under his bed and that’s alright. That one is more of a decoy than anything, although he does use it. This one though, no one has found. He knows because he has a security system on it. Maybe nothing as advanced as Howard could make it, but it works just fine. 

Task done he puts everything back and then unlocks his door. Aware of the time he dumps his box of wires and spare parts on the floor to fiddle around with. Neither his head nor his heart are really into the work, but that’s fine. They don’t need to be. All he needs to do is look busy as if he has been here a while. And it’s not as if Jarvis understands any of this anyways. He always asks which is one of the reasons Tony loves him so fiercely. But he never understands. Some days it feels as if no one does. 

Ten minutes later there is a knock at the door. “Come in,” he calls. 

“Young Master Tony,” Jarvis says with a smile, “it is time for supper.” 

Tony jumps up and goes over to join him. 

“Anything of interest today?” he asks. 

Tony shakes his head, thoughts somewhere else. On the pictures drawn by his hero. On the person who meant so much to him. They are the real life Batman and Robin of history - you can’t have one without the other. 

“Is everything alright?” Jarvis asks, “Did Master Howard say something to you?” Because he knows just how little patience he has to deal with Tony. 

But Tony shakes his head again and smiles up at him. “No Jarvis,” he says even if it isn’t strictly true. He did, but that isn’t what Tony is thinking about, not anymore. Besides no need to upset him if it isn’t necessary. “Just thinking,” he reassures. 

“Well come then. Mrs Jarvis has been cooking again and you know what that means.” He smiles conspiratorially. 

“A Hungarian feast,” Tony says knowingly even as he smiles. He loves Ana’s cooking, even if it is a bit unconventional compared to everything else. Plus she always makes sure to have something sweet for dessert. Thoughts of sketchbooks are pushed aside for now. He races off to the kitchen, Jarvis calling after him to slow down. 

:::

Tony is now ten and is flipping through the book he has long since memorized. He could probably draw these pictures in his sleep if he had the skill for it. As is he is currently hiding, tucked away in a part of the house that not even Jarvis or Ana will think to look for him. All he wants right now is to be alone. 

Logically he knows he shouldn’t have done it. Knows he was just asking for trouble when he tried. The latest search hadn’t gone well - they never go well, never end the way everyone hopes they will - and so Howard was not to be disturbed. Tony knows that. But it didn’t stop him anyways. He still went and got exactly what he deserved for his troubles. 

All he had been trying to do was cheer Howard up. He had just been trying to help. That’s all. He is always so sad when he comes back from the Arctic empty handed. Sad- and angry - and soon very drunk afterwards. Tony knows not to disturb him when he’s drunk. He knows how Howard gets. But he did it anyways so he deserves the bruise now forming on his cheek. 

At least he had been a man about it. Not a sissy. Not a little cry baby. At least Howard can’t yell at him for that too. Tony barely even blinked when he was backhanded. That’s something to be proud of. Right? 

If he listens to Howard it is. This is the exact reason he had been shipped off to boarding school in the first place. Because he had been too soft. Because he needed to be a man about it and suck it up. Starks don’t cry. Starks don’t show emotions at all. Not real ones. They put on a mask for the world to see and woo people so that they fall at their feet. Being authentic - being soft - will never get you anything but trouble. They will eat you alive if you let them. 

He knows that Jarvis and Ana disagree. Just like he knows that they are going to be upset about the bruise on his cheek. Upset  _ for _ him. Not because he was stupid, but because he was hurt. They aren’t going to scream at him for being a ‘useless waste of space’ or ‘a little idiot with pathetic ideas’. No. Ana and Jarvis will fuss and insist they put ice on it and then give him a treat. As if he deserves it. As if he matters. They are soft like that. 

Jarvis says there is nothing wrong with that. Ana says the same thing. But Ana also showed him the correct ways to hit someone after he came home from break with bloody knuckles and a sore thumb. Then she taught him how to take down someone twice his size. Aunt Peggy, when she learned, thoroughly agreed. She helps when she can. Jarvis was fussier about it, but even he couldn’t argue with Ana. He never can. Which is how he became the test dummy so to speak. 

Tony knows that Jarvis can also fight. He’s heard Ana tease him about it before. Or were they flirting? Tony is still trying to figure that whole concept out, but that is beside the point. Still Jarvis is big and Tony is not. Tony needed to learn to fight against someone bigger than he is, not the same size. One of the distinct disadvantages of being moved up in school. Everyone is bigger than he is. 

When he had first started he had been worried about learning to fight like a girl. Not because he thought Ana or Aunt Peggy were weak for being women. He’s not an idiot, whatever Howard might think. But Howard was exactly the problem. He has pounded into Tony’s head time and time again that he has to be a man. Strong. Tough. Thick skinned. Anything he sees as weak has no place in his life. And that had to include the way he fought didn’t it? He had to fight like a man, not a coward or a sissy. 

Aunt Peggy told him that if Howard had the nerve to complain then she would show him just what ‘fight like a girl’ really meant. Tony believed her. He still does. No one messes with Aunt Peggy and gets away with it. Aunt Peggy is one of the toughest people he knows. And if she approves of his fighting style than it can’t be bad can it? That doesn’t stop him from taking extra care to hide it from Howard though. Like he said, he’s not an idiot. 

He knows he is going to have to face the world eventually, but for now he’s putting that moment off. He continues to carefully flip through the pages, taking in each and every little detail there is. As always looking at them settles something in Tony’s chest. Soothes an ache he never notices until it is gone. Of course that sets off another ache, but that is a small price to pay. Especially since he doesn’t understand it. Just as he doesn’t fully understand the pictures. 

The subject is clear enough and so is the message - this is Captain America’s best friend. It should be simple. Easy. But it isn’t. Not to Tony anyways. The more he looks at it, the more he is convinced there is something lurking beneath the surface. Something more to learn about them. Maybe if he asked someone they would be able to tell him. But this is still his secret. Something for him and only him. There are still so few things like that that Tony is reluctant to give it up, even for answers. 

He can figure it out. He is a genius after all, everyone says so. And it’s not as if he doesn’t know it either with the amount of grades he has skipped over the years. He is and he can. It's just that emotions are harder to work out than equations. Just when he thinks he has the formula down, another variable is introduced. It’s like entropy except that even entropy has a formula Tony can use to measure it. Emotions don’t. 

Truth be told Tony hates emotions. They’re soft and icky and make his head hurt. Give him numbers and equations over them any day. He can always get  _ those  _ right. He can correct himself with numbers if he messes up. With emotions he never really knows what he did wrong, just that he did. And no one is willing to tell him either. They all act as if he should know. As if  _ he _ is the stupid one. Well he isn’t.  _ They _ are the stupid ones. Who needs that baby stuff anyways? Not Tony, that’s for sure. He is a Stark. 

Except for the part where maybe Captain America did. Because there is  _ something _ here, Tony knows there is. What else could it be? So maybe if Captain America did emotions they can’t be all bad. Ugh. He scrunches his face in disgust and then has to stop from tearing up when it pulls at his cheek. He succeeds - mostly. His eyes may be wet, but no tears fall so that is definitely progress. Won’t Howard be so proud. 

The thought makes him bitter. Mama says he shouldn’t be like that. That he should be her happy, smiling bambino. Mama doesn’t like it when he frowns. She doesn’t like the bruises or the yelling either, but nothing she says ever stops it. Sometimes Tony wonders if it only makes it worse. Mama loves him, he knows that. She never lets him doubt. There are times when it doesn’t feel like enough though. Like there is something still missing. He’ll never tell her that though. Even he knows enough not to do  _ that _ . 

So he continues to flip through the pages, trying to figure it out. Gently, picture by picture, as if this book is something sacred. Tony doesn’t believe in a higher power. Doesn’t believe in anything he can’t see or touch or experiment with. He isn’t to waste his time with other, frivolous things - and religion falls into that category. What proof does anyone have after all? Privately though Tony thinks Howard substituted one god for another. Instead of an actual deity he has one Steven G Rogers, Captain America himself. Instead of a church he has the Shrine - which is now Tony’s new name for the Cap Room. And instead of going to mass he goes on a pilgrimage every summer to the place where he died. 

If that isn’t another form of religion than Tony doesn’t know what is. Howard certainly worships Captain America enough. He is his main focus besides SI. And he drinks in his name like he is a figure straight out of norse mythology. Captain America has always been a part of Tony’s life - and he always will be. It doesn’t matter how long he stays dead, some things will never change. 

Howard says he will never measure up. That Captain America will always be worth more than he is. That Captain America would be disappointed in him. That Captain America is more of a man than Tony will ever be. Well of course he will. Who can measure up to a god after all? No mere mortal will ever succeed in that. And for all that people praise Tony for his genius, he is still only human. Nothing will change that. 

Not that he’ll ever mention any of this to anyone. He can only imagine the scandal now. Never mind that it is the truth. It will be Tony’s fault for saying it. So he keeps these thoughts to himself. 

He rubs his cheek, trying to take the sting out of it. He didn’t mean to make Howard so mad at him. Not this time at least. Other times - when there is an itch under his skin, when he needs to know that he really does exist - he will. He knows just what to say to make Howard rant and rave and scream at him. He knows what phrases to use and what buttons to push. And push them he will because some days negative attention is better than nothing at all. At least he knows that he isn’t a ghost, simply wandering around then. At least he has something, even if it stings and burns instead of comforts. 

This time however Tony didn’t realize just how drunk Howard was until it was too late. The conclusion was inevitable after that. It’s never a good idea to bother him when he gets to  _ that _ particular level of drunk. Never mind that he always seems to be drunk anyways when he isn’t in the lab. And Tony isn’t in the lab anymore. Not after the last time. Not that he should have been in there to begin with, but he had thought the risk was worth it. It wasn’t. 

He doesn’t want to think about that though so he continues to the end of the book. Before he can close it though, something falls out of it. Two somethings - things that he’s never seen before. Two pictures. The first one is of Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, pre serum. Bucky’s arms is around Steve’s shoulders, clearly showing off his height compared to Steve. His smile is pure mischief - with a touch of something else. Steve’s expression shows fond annoyance, leaning his back against him and holding onto his arms. It should be nothing more than two friends teasing each other, but it still makes Tony’s breath catch. 

This is Steve Rogers before he became Captain America. When he looked like a strong wind could have knocked him over. Before the army and long before their deaths. They look so happy here. So care free as if all the troubles of their lives had never touched them, not really. Kids still in a way even if they are most certainly older than Tony is now. Back before either of them saw the death and destruction of World War Two. But that isn’t what stops Tony. It’s... it’s the answer to the question he has been asking. It’s there, right in front of him. Right there in black and white. Only Tony still doesn’t understand. He only knows that it’s there. 

The next picture is a mirror of the first, only with the positions reversed. It is with a Steve Rogers who is Captain America and a Bucky Barnes that has been rescued from HYDRA. It is clear that the war has touched them both by now, even with their bright smiles. It is the look in their eyes, the way they aren’t quite as carefree as before. Steve has his arms wrapped around Bucky’s shoulders now with a smirk of his own, head resting on top of Bucky’s. Bucky doesn’t look nearly as annoyed as Steve did, mischief still in his face. They are dressed in uniform although for Steve it is army regular and not the stars and stripes. 

And here is still the same emotion lurking just beneath the surface. Just hidden enough that Tony does not understand what he is seeing. It still makes him ache though. Makes him stare in awe at these two legends. It’s so strong here that he can practically taste it. It’s enough to make him consider asking Jarvis about it. Jarvis would know if Tony showed him. He’s smart like that. 

But no because he still doesn’t want to share this with anyone. What if they took it away from him? What if he never saw it again? He can’t risk it. It is even more precious now, with these two new pictures. Not of the legends, but of the two men behind it. Something to remind him that they weren’t just stories to get compared to. No. This is one of the few things he has never had to share with anyone else. That no one else could look and see and judge. Everything else about him is. Especially now that the newspapers and paparazzi and the whole world want to know every detail he has to offer and then more. Want to take and take and take until there is nothing left. Until he is the Stark mask and nothing more. 

Even if they don’t take it away it won’t be just his anymore will it? Other people will know about it. Other people will think and judge him for it. It won’t be his anymore. It will belong to whoever else he shows it to. Even if they never use it against him they’ll still know. They’ll still have seen it. No. It isn’t worth the risk no matter how much he wants to know. He’ll figure it out for himself. Eventually. He is a genius after all. Until then he’ll continue to look. 

A closer examination of the book shows him that the last two pages had been glued together at the edges. That’s why he’s never seen them before. They had stayed there, hidden, until the glue finally weakened enough to let them fall out. It was carefully done, whoever did it. Maybe Steve. Maybe someone else. Whoever it was clearly didn’t want these pictures to be easy to find. Well Tony can understand why. These pictures are special, something to be treasured, not potentially mocked or dissected. Tony will keep them hidden too, just like the first person wanted. Carefully he puts them back inside. 

:::

Tony is fifteen now and he knows exactly what these drawings - these pictures - means. It fills him with a kind of giddy joy that no one else can take away from him. Not the general public and its mass hysteria and its epidemic. Not the stuffy old conservatives that Tony has to - and will always have to - deal with on a daily basis. Not Howard and his limiting world views and toxic masculinity. No one. Just the thought of it is enough to make him cackle with glee. 

The truth is this: Steve Rogers - Captain America himself - was in love with Bucky Barnes. It is announced in every drawing, every line and every smile he committed to paper. It is undeniable once you know where to look - how to look. Even before Tony understood what he was seeing he saw it. And even more - Bucky Barnes was in love with Steve Rogers. The very definition of childhood sweethearts. 

He wonders if anyone knew. Did the other Howlies? Did Howard? Did  _ Aunt Peggy _ ? Or is he the first one to see the truth? Surely Aunt Peggy knew. Nothing could get past her for long - there’s a reason that she’s  _ the _ spy after all. And doesn’t that put a new spin on things. Howard definitely couldn’t have known. He would never worship Rogers if he did. That only makes this knowledge all that much more sweeter. 

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - together till the end of the line. There is something romantic about it all. Not that Tony would ever admit that to anyone. He knows well enough to keep any hint of his romantic side well away from the public eye. Or the private eye. Or any eye really, even his own. Tony doesn’t acknowledge that its there unless he absolutely has to - and it hasn’t happened yet. 

Although if things keep going the way they are than that might change. Eventually. Maybe. Perhaps. Or maybe Tony will continue to hide it - along with the reason for this change. Why ruin a good thing after all Especially if this is his  _ first _ good thing. Then again if Captain America can be in love with his best friend then why can’t he? 

Tony sighs, glad he is in the dorm alone right now. Although if he wasn’t alone then he never would have taken the sketchbook out in the first place. He is still determined to keep it a secret. It is still something his and his alone. No one is going to take this from him, especially not now after he’s finally figured out the puzzle that has been hiding from him for a decade. Not that five year old Tony even knew what gay meant, let alone could imagine being with another man. Scratch that - could imagine being with  _ anyone _ , no matter what their gender. 

Not that Tony is gay - he has no problem being with girls. But he definitely isn’t straight. Being in love with your  _ male _ best friend kind of throws that option right out the window. It’s made worse by the fact that it is indeed love. Not a puppy crush. Not some kind of hero worship. Not lust. Not a desire to be best friends - and only that. No. Tony thinks he fell in love with Rhodey as soon as he met him. 

Sure at first it was definitely a crush, there’s no doubt about that. Rhodey was the first person that wasn’t family to give a damn about him. To not use him or get tired of him or abandon him. It wasn’t the instant connection of stories. There was quite a bit of exasperation and annoyance on Rhodey’s side. And Tony can admit he didn’t make it easy, what with his trust issues and in your face attitude. No one has ever accused him of being an easy person after all. But it is even better for that because it is real. Real in a way Tony has never had before. He is his first friend, his first love, first - well. It’s important. 

Part of Tony worries that this is the reason he fell in love - because Rhodey is the first person his age - relatively speaking - that did give a damn about him. Treat a puppy right and he will love you forever. Not that Tony is comparing himself to a dog, but, well, the point still stands. He may not like it, but it does. Is he only in love because Rhodey puts up with him? Treats him like a human being and not something else? Something less. Because that would be a new level of pathetic, even for him. Poor little rich boy, so many problems because Daddy didn’t love him. Ugh. 

Another part of him refuses to let Howard have that kind of power over him. He is more than his issues. He is more than the media’s portrayal of him. More than anyone knows. He is Tony Stark and he does what he wants. And if he wants to fall in love with Rhodey? He will. All of his life he has been compared to Captain America. Told he will never measure up. Well here is another part of him that no one - or barely anyone, depending - knows. This is something that he can have in common with his childhood hero. 

Of course there is a difference. Bucky returned Steve’s feelings. They were in love with each other. Maybe Rhodey loves Tony sure, but more as a little brother than anything else. He isn’t  _ in love _ with Tony. Thinks that Tony is still a kid. Never mind that Tony has been forced to grow up too early. Survive in a world where everyone is two, tree, more years older than him. It makes for an odd combination of mature and childishness. And likely explains why his people skills suck. So there’s that. Plus the little fact that Rhodey is straight - and headed straight for the military. 

One of those things might be bad enough, but all three together are enough to ensure that nothing will ever happen between them. It makes Tony ache when he thinks of it, but he always pushes it away. He may not have a boyfriend, but he has a best friend. That should be enough. It’s more than Tony thought he would ever have. And if he dreams of having something like Captain America and his Sergeant had? Well they call it a dream for a reason. They never make it into the light of day. Fairy tales don’t happen outside of the story book. Starks don’t waste time on childish things. And dreaming of something that will never be definitely falls into that category. 

Doesn’t stop him from imagining it sometimes. But that’s all it’ll ever be. In the meantime he takes shameless advantage of Rhodey’s acceptance and tolerance of him. He demands time and hugs and whatever ridiculous stunt he can think of. And Rhodey agrees - mostly. He objects to anything that could potentially get them arrested, the party pooper. But anything else? Yeah. He’s especially open with the hugs. And the couch cuddles. And the general whirlwind that is Tony in his personal space. He’s a tactile person, even if there are so few people he is comfortable touching. 

Actually for all that Tony will sometimes use dog analogies, Rhodey has dubbed him a cat more than anything. Or a kitten when he’s feeling especially sassy. Honestly Tony’s sass is nothing in the face of Rhodey’s. People don’t see it because Tony is much more in your face about it, but it's true. Rhodey’s sass is a beautiful thing. Just like Rhodey’s mind - his brain and his pranks. Again people expect Tony’s genius and Tony’s shit so they see it. But that doesn’t stop Rhodey’s from coming out to play. Tony gets along with him for a reason after all. 

He stares at the pictures of Steve and Bucky, ignoring the longing that hits him. The pose is almost identical to the one he and Rhodey took for Tony’s birthday a couple of months ago. Rhodey is using his height to stand behind Tony, trying to make him look shorter than he really is. He has to lean against Tony to keep his balance, arms around him. See what he means about the sass. Honestly Tony is  _ not _ that short. Tony is letting him get away with it. Mainly because soon after the picture is taken Tony moves so that Rhodey is thrown off balance. Unfortunately Tony didn’t get out of the way fast enough so Rhodey took him down with him. 

Still they are smiling widely in the camera. Happy and goofing off, a moment immortalized forever. You can practically see Tony’s plan of his face - the pure mischief as Rhodey calls it. He has it framed on his desk. They could be mistaken for each other - except for one thing: the love in them. It is clear that Steve and Bucky are in love in their picture. Tony and Rhodey? They look close sure. Happy and comfortable with each other, but there is still something missing. 

Still it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. What is the difference between love and in love besides the sex anyways? Society might say there is something, but screw social norms. He knows - even with only a year of knowing each other - what they have is good. Solid. He may doubt it at times. Might wonder why Rhodey bothers to stay. What he is getting out of this because - in the end - everyone wants  _ something _ from him. Doesn’t matter what. Doesn’t matter who. It always ends the same. Why bother with a scrawny, annoying genius? 

But he knows that Rhodey is nothing if not loyal. An anchor for Tony to hold onto. One day he might drown them both because he is too selfish to let go. But for now? Tony will do anything Rhodey asks. Follow him wherever he goes. Defend and protect and possess as only a Stark can. He may not have everything. May never have what Steve and Bucky had. But this - what he has right now - is enough. Rhodey is enough. 

:::

Tony is twenty three, CEO of Stark Industries and one of the top five bachelors in the US when someone discovers his secret. Or, well, that makes it sound so much more dramatic than it really is. Then again when has anyone accused Tony of being anything less? Never that’s when. Therefore yes - he is twenty three when his secret is discovered. One of them that is. 

Really it’s nothing short of a miracle that it's stayed hidden for this long. Especially considering who discovers it in the first place. Rhodey has been a firm consistent in his life ever since they’ve met. Even when Tony annoys the hell out of him.  _ Especially _ when Tony annoys the hell out of him. It always amazes him that Rhodey comes back after that. That he decided Tony is still worth the trouble. Worth the bother and the headache and the aggravation. He stays. Or if he goes he always comes back. 

It’s only helped solidify the belief that maybe - just maybe - he has found the one for him. Not necessarily in a romantic sense, but what does that matter in the grad scheme of things? He still holds that the only difference between love and in love is sex. And let’s be honest, even that line can be blurred. Sex is not something Tony needs from Rhodey - he isn’t called a playboy for nothing. His bed is never empty unless he wants it to be. Sex is something he has well and truly handled. Affection on the other hand? An easy and tested bond? A shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to him? That is something worth more than everything he owns and he knows it. Might not be so great at acknowledging it, but he knows it. 

So really what is sex compared to that? He isn’t so shallow to declare that sex is more important for all that he has a ridiculous amount of it. What he craves is the closeness. The touch and the warmth of another body next to his. And if that translates to sex to nintey nine percent of the population? So what? He is fine with his platypus being the other one percent of the equation. It makes him all that much more special. 

But all of that is beside the point. The point is Tony is twenty three when Rhodey discovers the sketchbook. It’s probably a little ridiculous that he is so obsessed with it after all this time. After all, it’s not as if anything has changed. He’s discovered all its secrets. But there is still something comforting about it so he continues. By now he’s digitized everything so he doesn’t have to carry the book around with him. Plus it saves it from the wear and tear of being opened so many times. 

He is alone in the workshop with only the bots to keep him company. And even they are silent right now. Today has not been a good day. Today has been a terrible day in fact. Everything that could go wrong  _ has _ gone wrong and Tony is just done. Done with SI and R&D and the world in general. He thinks that if one more person tries to talk to him he might scream. Or throw something. Or both. Both is always a possibility at this point. Especially with how drained he is. 

What more do they want from him? Just because he’s a Stark and a genius doesn’t mean he’s perfect. And even if he was shit still happens. Things that are out of everyone’s control, including his own. But oh no, that isn’t good enough. Apparently Tony should be able to control everything up to and including gravity itself. 

Yeah, okay then. 

What they want is everything Tony has to give and more. They want something that he doesn’t have and refuses to turn into. Nothing he does will ever be enough because he will never be enough. Too loud and too wild and too bold. They don’t want a person so much as a thing they can control - one without any pesky opinions or a will of its own to question their authority. 

Well screw that. He is Tony Stark. No one tells him what to do. People have been trying for years without success. You think that they would get the hint, but no. They still insist on trying. He can count on one hand the people he’d ever listen to growing up - people who mattered and people who cared. None of the bossy people trying now are on the list. None of them matter - despite what Obie might protest - and they certainly don’t care. Therefore they can all shove it. 

To make matters worse lately he has been feeling more isolated than ever. He doesn’t have anyone to talk to, not anymore. His Mama is dead, has been for years now. The same with Ana and Jarvis has moved back to England after her death. Aunt Peggy is retired now and seemingly farther away than ever. And Rhodey is in the military and no longer available any time Tony needs him. Not that he would ever admit it, but at least he was still around to bother. Now there is nothing. 

He is surrounded by sharks and piranhas and leeches. Any one who wants to bleed him or take a bite out of him or have him drown. It’s a real fun time if you like that kind of thing. If not, well, fake it till you make it is a saying for a reason. Besides which letting them know that they are getting to you is one of the worst things that you can do. So Tony grins and bares it. He is practically a master at that by now. After a lifetime in the limelight it's near impossible to see through his mask. 

That’s not what he wants to think about right now though. Frankly he’d like to think of nothing at all, but that isn’t an option for him, unfortunately. So he needs to think happy thoughts instead like he is in Peter Pan or something. Ha! As if. He’d never get off the ground - faith and trust are two things he’s sorely lacking. If he ever had them to begin with that is. Of course the pictures in front of him remind him that he did. He still does, even if he hides it. Why else would he be twenty three and still be looking at the sketchbook?

He might not have believed in fairy tales, but he believed in something else. Something - some _ one _ real. Captain America himself. Even Howard couldn’t have ruined that for him. Oh he tried, with his hero worship and his months of searching and his disappointment. But he didn’t. Not completely. Mainly out of spite if Tony is being honest with himself. He had refused to let Howard ruin the one fairy tale he was allowed as a kid. Sure part of him - a rather large part - may hate Captain America, but that is because he is too tied up with Howard to separate. 

Steve Rogers though? He is another story entirely. Practically another person - the real one, the one under the cowl. The person who helped Tony get through the years with only a sketchbook to keep him company. That person was no longer real to Howard in his stories. He may have occasionally used ‘Steve’ instead of Captain, but it is clear he isn’t really seeing him. He is seeing someone else. Someone who exists only in his mind and comic books, not in real life. It may have taken Tony years to figure this out, but he got there eventually. Never let anyone tell you spite isn’t a valid motivator. 

Steve Rogers is Tony’s hero. Captain America can suck it. You can quote it on him too. 

What all this means though is that Tony wasn’t expecting anyone to enter the workshop. Certainly not without prior warning from JARVIS. But that is exactly what Rhodey does. Tony is so focused on his thoughts that he doesn’t even hear him until - 

“Whatcha looking at Tones?” he asks from behind him. 

Tony jerks and spins, bad mood rapidly evaporating that the sight of him. “Platypus!” he cries as he attaches himself to Rhodey as best as he can with a chair in the way. 

Rhodey just laughs and moves so they can hug more easily. “Hey there peacock careful you don’t damage that big brain of yours.” 

Tony grins happily as he plasters himself to Rhodey. “What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me that you were coming to visit. Is everything okay? Nothing happened did it? Why didn’t you-” 

“Easy genius,” Rhodey says as he covers his mouth with his hand, “It was a surprise, nothing is wrong. A surprise - you know that thing you always pulled on me? Consider this payback.” 

“Best payback ever, he mutters into Rhodey’s shoulder. 

“So glad to hear it. Now move before you pull my back out of place koala cat.” 

They end up sitting in the same chair with Tony practically in Rhodey’s lap. Because Tony still takes shameless advantage of invading Rhodey’s space. And because Rhodey still lets him get away with it, therefore he is never going to stop. Ever. 

“You’re still grinning. What are you grinning about?” Tony asks, “Sugar plum is there something else you need to tell me?”

“What? A man can’t be happy about visiting his best friend?” Rhodey asks innocently in return. 

“Sorry sour patch, but you have a terrible poker face,” Tony shakes his head, “Tragic really,” he mocks sigh. 

“What are you talking about? I have a great poker face.” 

“Then why do you never win?” 

“Because you count cards and you know it.” Rhodey pokes his side. 

“I do not,” Tony protests even as he squirms away from the finger, trying not to laugh. Not that it's believable - mainly because it's true. He just can’t help it. It’s honestly second nature to do so. “So?” he asks, changing the subject. 

Rhodey gives in, grinning his Cheshire grin. “You are looking at the newest Stark Military liaison.” 

Tony squeals. He will deny it to his dying days, but he most certainly does. He throws his arms around Rhodey again and kisses him right on the lips. Just for a second, but on the lips nonetheless. 

But before Tony can process that, let alone begin to panic, Rhodey is laughing, smiling his Tony smile. A smile that is reserved for Tony and only Tony. No one else. “Good to know I’m appreciated around here,” he says, “Besides what better way to keep an eye on you?” 

“Everything isn’t always  _ my _ fault,” Tony automatically protests. It’s an old argument and one Rhodey always wins for one fact and one fact only - no one ever believes that Rhodey could start anything. It’s always Tony they blame. Tony they always look to first. That just isn’t true and has never been true, but will anyone believe him?  _ No. _ He crosses his arms, not-pouting. 

“Sure it’s not Tones,” Rhodey agrees easily, the ass, “So?” 

Tony blinks, “So what?” What was the question again?

“What are you looking at? These aren’t yours, not your style. Or your subject matter - not enough nuts and bolts attached to him. Unless there’s something you want to tell me?” 

“Ha ha honey buns, hilarious,” he turns away so that Rhodey can’t see his face, “No that is Bucky Barnes,” he says casually, “you know the old man kept all the crap like that.” 

“Yeah, but I thought you hadn’t touched it in years. Wait - are you telling me these are Steve Roger originals?” 

Tony hums. “Found it in a box pushed out of the way as a kid. Who was going to miss it?” he shrugs as if to convince both of them of his careless tone. 

“And you kept is all these years?” 

Of course it didn’t work. Not with Rhodey. They have known each other too long for that. He shrugs again. “Howard wanted it forgotten - seemed like a good reason to remember.” 

“JARVIS go to the first page will you?” Rhodey asks. 

JARVIS of course obeys without a word because why wouldn’t he? He’ll sass and snark Tony into next week, but Rhodey? Oh no, heaven forbid. Traitor. 

They both look through it in silence. Tony wonders what it is that Rhodey sees. Does he see the hidden message? Or is he more focused on the pictures themselves? Maybe the real question is does Tony want him to know. How would it feel to share this with someone else? And not just anyone, but Rhodey, his platypus. His very own Bucky. Or maybe Steve because just the thought of him being Steve is enough to make him shudder. Because of aforementioned issues Thanks again Howard. By the time they get to the end - the two pictures - the only sound in the workshop is their breathing. 

“Holy hell Tones,” Rjodey breathes. 

Well that answers that then. There’s no other reason for him to sound like that. Plus he has always been better at emotions than Tony ever has been. 

“You see what I’m seeing?” he asks. 

“You mean a subtle lack of bro in their so called bromance? Yup.” He makes sure to pop his p extra loud. 

Rhodey whistles. “One thing to hear we didn’t invent gay, another to know Captain America had a boyfriend,” he sounds awed. Then he ruffles Tony’s hair, ruining the moment, “And look at you, figuring it out all by yourself. My baby boy is growing up so fast.” 

“Shut up,” Tony grumbles, pushing his shoulder into Rhodey’s chest. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s fighting down a blush. Emotions are stupid. There’s no reason for it. Honestly. 

Rhodey grins at him, full of teasing cheer. 

Tony is helpless not to grin back at that. “Can you imagine if all those stuffy suits knew?” he asks. 

“You mean can I imagine their heads exploding?” Rhodey asks in return because he has no more love for those kind of people either. Where one issue resides, others usually join it. 

Tony mimes an explosion with his hands. “Boom.” 

Rhodey snorts. “If only.” 

“Clearly you can see why history had to be preserved.” 

“Clearly I can see you using this to spit in Howard’s face you mean.” Because Rhodey has no love for Howard either, living or dead. 

“If only,” Tony repeats with a sigh, “You know he’d deny it then destroy it. Heaven forbid I try to tarnish his precious hero.” 

Rhodey hums in agreement. It’s not as if he doesn't know Tony’s exact feelings on the subject. In great detail. But that’s what he gets for asking questions. Most of the time Tony will deflect until he is blue in the face. But the times he actually answers - it's like watching a dam break. Or being caught in a flash flood. Messy. 

“Still,” he smirks, “a person can dream.” 

“Never been a problem for you,” Rhodey agrees. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” What an outrageous thing to say. 

Rhodey smirks. “Only good things sugar plum,” he promises. 

Tony throws his head back and laughs. Oh how he loves his platypus so very much. And that’s the exact moment it finally registers that he  _ kissed _ him. On the  _ lips _ . What the ever living - 

“Here we go,” Rhodey sighs, “was wondering when you were going to catch up genius.” 

Tony turns to say something, but for once in his life he seems to be speechless. Ka poot. Nothing. Blue screen of death. 

Rhodey gently tugs on his hair. “Breathe Tones,” he reminds him, “before you work yourself into a panic attack.” He places Tony’s hand on his chest to help him focus. “There’s no reason to freak out on me now. You think I don’t know what you’re like after all these years?” 

Tony focuses on the movement beneath his hand. In and out. In and out. “But I-” he tries. 

Rhodey cuts him off with a shake of his head. “I know how you show your affection Tones and I know it in’t through sex. Not with those you  _ really _ love. You don’t do casual either when it comes to love,” he adds, “You have a possessive streak a mile long. I wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as I have if I didn’t mind some blurring boundaries.” 

“And if there’s no blurring about it?” Tony asks because he knows how he feels. There’s no question about that. It’s all up to Rhodey now. 

“Sex is off the table,” he says bluntly, “between the two of us. But anything else? I told you it's fine. Knew what I was in for a month after knowing you. Never worried too much about what we called it.” 

Tony can feel the smile stretching across his face ridiculously wide. “Love you too platypus.” He kisses him again. Because he can. Because apparently Rhodey is fine with it, which is great. What’s even better is when he returns the kiss. 

“Yeah yeah peacock,” he says when they break apart, “up now. I’d like to spend some quality time on some  _ real _ furniture. You know, the ones you spent a fortune on?” 

Tony jumps up, still beaming. “This way sunshine. Jay, order some food too. We’re having a celebration for my honey bear.” 

“Your wish is my command Sir. And might I also offer my own congratulations Colonel Rhodes. Maybe now Sir will remember that he is not in fact a machine if you are around more often.” 

“Hey! I resent that remark young man,” Tony grumbles. 

“I believe it is more that you resemble that remark actually.” 

Tony sticks his tongue out at the nearest camera. 

“What a compelling argument Sir. Truly masterful.” 

Rhodey, the traitor, just laughs. At least he makes up for it by throwing an arm around Tony’s shoulders as they head upstairs. 

:::

“Sir,” JARVIS says, interrupting Tony’s train of thought, “Captain Rogers is requesting entrance. Shall I let him in?” 

Tony looks up from his work, surprised, to confirm that Rogers is actually here. And wouldn’t you know it? There he stands, waiting in front of the door, uncertainty written all over his body. It would appear as if the good Captain is nervous. Of Tony? Or what he wants from him? “Yeah go ahead Jay. You know what they say about keeping senior citizens waiting.” 

“Of course Sir. And might I add how very original that joke is.” 

Tony rolls his eyes as Rogers enters. “Did I ask for commentary now?” 

“One would hate for you to lose your elegance.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s your exact reasoning. Hey Brooklyn,” he offers him a smile because that nervousness hasn’t faded yet, “finally back in town? See all the sights yet or this just a pit stop? How about the World’s Largest Coo Coo Clock?” 

“Mr Stark,” Rogers begins, settling in a parade rest in front of him. 

“Tony,” he corrects, “told you before Mr Stark was my old man. I know you knew Howard, but I know we don’t look  _ that _ similar to mistake.” 

“Tony,” Rogers repeats with a small smile, “No, I think I’m done travelling for now. Although I’ll have to make a point to go see this clock. Seems there’s a lot of the world’s largest around anymore.” 

Tony shrugs. “Everyone needs a hobby right? Now what can I do you for before you ride off into the sunset again? And for god sake relax a little. Do I look like an officer to you? I’m the last one to yell about respect.” 

Steve’s smile grows just a little bit bigger at that. “I wanted to thank you for returning my things,” he walks closer, looking around curiously, “It was real swell of you.” 

“First off no one says swell anymore,” he points an accusing finger at him, “I know you have to know this from your all American vacation, but really apple pie,  _ no _ .” 

Steve turns his head, but not fast enough to entirely hide the smirk on his face. 

Yeah, that’s what he thought. Someone is trying to play here. Cute. “Second of all it was your stuff anyways. What was I going to do with it? Howard was the one who saved it all. It was just gathering dust before I gave it back.” 

Steve nods, clearly only half paying attention. His focus is mostly on the picture Tony has sitting on his desk. The one of him and Rhodey taken for his fifteenth birthday. Normally he isn’t one for sentiment, but he really does love that picture. And that man, so. 

“Were the two of you dating then?” he asks. The smile takes on a sweeter, sadder shade. 

“Not then no,” Tony shakes his head, “I was only fifteen then and still freaking out about it.” He laughs at the memory, not exactly sure why he’s sharing. No, scratch that, he knows exactly why. “We didn’t get together until I was twenty three actually.” 

“That’s... that’s good,” Steve says, “the two of you look happy together,” then he shakes his head, “Your file didn’t mention it though. And, ah, what about-” he clears his throat.

Tony snorts, amused despite himself. “My file? Really? That’s hardly all there is to know about me. And let me guess, you’re trying to find a polite way to ask why I was such a slut if I had my honey bear?” 

Now Steve blushes at that. “I didn’t mean-” 

Tony cuts him off. “It’s alright sugar, I know what I was like back then. Just because they were polite enough to use playboy people still thought it. And part of the reason is because sex doesn’t hold much meaning to me beyond if the orgasms are good.” Oh good, more blushing, “Not that Rhodey cared anyways. We don’t do sex. We’ve never went public with it either. Too much drama, even now. It may be legal, but the media has always had a field day dragging my name through the mud. If Rhodey didn’t like it then it would be different, but,” he shrugs. 

It’s the truth. Neither of them have ever felt the need. For one thing their relationship has never been what you call traditional. For another thing so much of Tony’s life is open for public consumption that it’s nice to have something to keep for himself. There’s been talk over the years, but there always have been and there always will be.  

“Oh,” Steve seems at a loss what to say. 

Tony reaches out and pats him on the shoulder. Looks like the poor guy needs it. “The future has all sorts of possibilities now. Not sure how it worked back then but now there’s basically a label for everything. I take it SHIELD wasn’t too thorough with that.” 

“They mentioned that it’s legal now. In some states you can even get married. And of course I saw that on my trip, but I-” he shakes his head. 

“I can recommend some reliable sources if you want - not just about this either,” he adds, “And you know Pride is coming up soon. You could always go if you wanted.” 

Steve looks both surprised and uncertain about that. “Thanks,” he says, nodding, “There’s just so much to learn. Everything has changed so much. I can’t believe some of it.” 

“No problem. I’ll have JARVIS compile a list on a Starkpad you can take with you. Got that Jay? All America needs a full course history lesson.” 

“Of course Sir, I’ll get right on it.” 

“Oh no,” Steve protests, “you don’t have to.” 

Tony waves him off. “Least I can do sugar. You know how many of these things I have laying around. Think of it as doing me a favour if you want. Let me know how user friendly it is for someone who isn’t use to tech. Speaking of which what kind of crap did SHIELD give you for a phone? It better not be Apple because I have a strict band on their products entering my building. An offense against the good name of technology they are.” 

“No,” Steve shakes his head and pulls out his phone.

Tony winces at the sight. It’s not Apple and that’s all he can say about it. It’s an honest to Tesla flip phone for one thing. Tony didn’t even think they made those still anymore. And for another it’s positively ancient looking besides. “Yeah no. Jay where’s a phone around here we can use to get Brooklyn into this century?” 

“Sta- Tony,” Steve corrects himself as he protests again. 

“Nope, not a word. I think I saw that same design in a museum once. Moses was using it to call his brother.” 

“Hilarious,” Steve tells him dryly, but he is smiling again so what is he complaining about? 

“Besides I haven't even mentioned the rooms I added on for you lot of misfits when I was remodeling now have I? What is your face going to do when I mention that?” Tony looks over his shoulder to raise an eyebrow at him. 

The answer is stare at Tony as if he has suddenly grown two heads. “What?” he asks. 

“Ah, that. Too soon? Guess I’ll mention it next visit then.” He smirks at the scowl Steve shoots him then. You know for all that they had a rough start this is going pretty well now if he can say so himself. Better then he was expecting, that’s for sure. 

“I think you missed your true calling.” 

“Thanks boy scout, knew you would appreciate good humour when you heard it.” 

“You know I was never a boy scout right?” Steve begins to look around again as if he can't help himself. 

“Want the dime tour?” he asks without much thought. It’s not as if he is opposed to showing off after all. And if he's really that curious. 

“Wasn’t it always a nickel?” 

“Inflation got to it.” Tony says seriously. 

That gets another short laugh. “I don’t want to take up your time. I, ah, just wanted to ask something real quick.” 

“Yes because I hate talking about myself,” he nods, “I’m sure you noticed. I’m very humble,” he smiles innocently at the snort Steve gives that, “But sure, what can I do for you sugar?” 

Steve rubs the back of his head. “It’s a bit silly to be honest, but I was going through my old box of sketchbooks and I’m missing one. I know I probably sound ungrateful complaining, but I was wondering if there was anyway you knew what happened to it? Or if there was another box somewhere maybe? I wouldn’t normally ask just for a dusty old book but,” he shrugs. 

It is a very good thing Steve isn’t looking at him right now because Tony is currently fighting down a blush. Of course. Of course of all the things to notice he would see that the sketchbook was missing. And maybe it was a little bit selfish and a little bit pathetic to keep it when he returned the rest of Steve’s things, but Tony couldn’t help it. This book has been with him for the majority of his life now. Surely it wouldn’t have mattered if he just didn't give it back. Surely it wouldn’t be missed. He should have known better. Well the jig is up now. 

“The one filled with Barnes?” he asks, just to be sure.

Steve looks surprised - shocked - to hear it, but nods. 

“Not a word,” he warns and reaches down to pull it out of his desk draw. “Here,” he says, setting it down so he doesn’t have to hand it to him then trying to look busy, “All safe and sound and all that.” He watches from the corner of his eye as Steve picks it up and inspects it. Then he turns a curious eye to Tony. He skillfully ignores him. 

“Thanks,” Steve says then hesitates, shifting from one foot to the other. 

“Fine,” Tony sighs, “Ask. But I’m warning you - one crack and you’re out on your nose.” He refuses to blush at this. Absolutely  _ refuses _ . It would be too much like an admittance of guilt, even if it is too late for that. He doesn’t get to know all of Tony’s secrets. 

“Thanks for looking out for him,” is what Steve ends up saying. “Glad someone was keeping him safe when I couldn’t.” 

No blushing,  _ no blushing _ . “It’s just a book, no need to get your panties in a twist. I can appreciate art when I want to.” 

“The pictures came unglued,” Steve points out. 

“So I made sure they didn’t fall out. You trying to say something here then just say it. Honestly do I look like a fainting maiden to you or something?” He sounds defensive to his own hears, but he can’t help it. His is something that he’s hid for so long it doesn’t feel right talking about it. To this day Rhodey is still the only person who knows. 

“You know about me and Buck,” Steve asks bluntly, “don’t you?” 

Wow, okay then. Right to the point then finally. He nods because there is no use in lying. 

“Then thank you,” he repeats, “for keeping him safe.” 

And here comes that blush again. He can feel it heating up his cheeks. This is ridiculous it's been decades since he last blushed. He determinedly pushes it away. “No big deal,” he shrugs casually, “I was little and I liked it. Wasn’t until I was older that I figured out how much Howard would flip if he ever knew. And it's not like there hasn’t been rumours floating around for years. And movies.” he perks up, “Have you seen some of those movies yet? They’re so terrible that they’re hilarious. I definitely recommend them.” 

And now it’s Steve’s turn to blush good. “No I haven’t,” he says, “but I get the feeling that if I hang around here long enough I will.” 

“Movie night! Great idea Brooklyn,” he grins. 

Steve groans. 

“Now you want that dime tour or not? Time is money you know.” 

“I’ll have to dig through my loose change and see.” But he goes to stand next to Tony anyways, sketchbook tucks firmly against his chest. 

Tony smiles at him. No this isn’t going badly at all. In fact this might even end up being something good. “First of all, you need an introduction to the rest of the crew,” he begins, “you lot quit hiding and come greet our guest,” he calls to the bots, “He’s going to think you have no manners.” 

Steve’s eyes widen in wonder as the bots, now that they have permission, race towards them. 

Yeah this might end up being something real good. 

 


End file.
